My Latest e-book" "NLP Techniques Anyone Can Use".

My purpose in writing this book is to briefly illustrate the power of NLP and to encourage you to explore how NLP concepts can make a difference in your life. I begin by showing that NLP is based on solid theoretical footings from respected disciplines such as: psychology, physiology, systems theory and communication. This is followed by six typical NLP processes that anyone – parents, coaches, those in the helping professions, etc. – can use to help themselves or their children/clients to be more resourceful in certain situations, be more aware of their actions on others or to undertake interesting and challenging opportunities without being sidetracked by anxiety.

Click here for your copy of NLP Techniques Anyone Can Use.

Advice for Men - Nine Words Women Use That You Should Be Aware Of.

I recently came across the following that I think you will find entertaining and useful!

NINE WORDS WOMEN USE

(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' . that will bring on a 'whatever').

(8) Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying F-- YOU!

(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.

* Send this to the men you know, to warn them about arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology.

* Send this to all the women you know. They’ll laugh, ‘cause they know it's true!!!

Parents’ Day – Fourth Sunday of July

May has Mother’s Day, June Father’s Day and did you know there is a Parents’ Day in July – well at least in the United States there is.

In 1994, US President Bill Clinton established the fourth Sunday of every July as Parents’ Day when he signed into law a resolution unanimously adopted by the US Congress. Parents’ Day was created for "recognizing, uplifting, and supporting the role of parents in the rearing of children."

Unlike Mother’s Day or Father’s Day, the National Parents’ Day Council (US) doesn’t see this day as a time to honor parents, rather “a day when parents honor their children and the God-centered family ideal by rededicating themselves to manifest the highest standard of unconditional true love.” Thus they see it as an opportunity to honor excellent parents, particularly outstanding couples as parental role models.

And perhaps Parents’ Day can and should be much broader than this. First, it’s not just about couples as parents. It’s about anyone who steps in to serve in some capacity as a parent – single parents, grandparents, caregivers or teachers. Second, it’s more than just honoring your children. It’s about assessing your skills and abilities as a parent, noticing opportunities for improvement and taking appropriate action. “Simply put, when you become a parent you are not handed a manual that will answer all your questions or cover all situations. For many, the ‘manual’ you bring to parenting is the one you learned from observing your parents.” (Parents’ Handbook: NLP and Common Sense Guide for Family Well-Being, Roger Ellerton, PhD, ISBN 978-1-4251-4790-7)

A Book to Definitely Share with Parents

Review of Parents' Handbook: NLP and Common Sense Guide for Family Well-Being by Joyce M. Gilmour, Editor & Book Reviewer, www.editingtlc.com.

Roger Ellerton's Parents' Handbook is based on the concepts of NLP which is neuro-linguistic programming. "NLP is about how you communicate with yourself, and based on the results of this, how you engage in conversation with others." I appreciated a quote from Mr. Ellerton, since it is something that I share with parents at all of my parenting classes that I facilitate: "Simply put, when you become a parent you are not handed a manual that will answer all your questions or cover all situations. For many, the 'manual' you bring to parenting is the one you learned from observing your parents."

Mr. Ellerton has put together an excellent resource for parents/families to put tools in parent's "toolkits" which are strategies to help all members of the family learn how to get to know themselves and others. With these "tools" people will improve their communication skills and be able to achieve their dreams. I particularly appreciated the chapter about the six primary parenting roles. I feel the strategies shared here help to show parents the many roles and ways to help their children through life: caretaker and guide, coach, teacher, mentor, sponsor, and awakener. I think it is very important to see our roles as parents from different perspectives. I feel it is essential for parents to learn and understand the many different ways their children need guidance throughout life.

Reading this book and practicing the strategies and learning all there is to know about NLP will take time and effort. Parenting, especially GOOD parenting, needs both our time and our effort. It is THE most important job in the whole world, the ONLY one that doesn’t come with any training. This book will definitely be one that I share with parents in the parenting classes that I facilitate. Buying this book and spending the time to work through it is a small investment for a lifetime of better relationships in our families.

The Ultimate Guide to a Fulfilled Family

Review of Parents' Handbook: NLP and Common Sense Guide for Family Well-Being by Marcia Freespirit, CEO, JimSam Inc. Publishing www.jimsaminc.com.

Roger Ellerton's Parents' Handbook is a tremendous resource for parents. This guide gives superb advice, tips, and techniques that have been proven to work. Improve your relationships with your children, understand what motivates them and reduce the stress and strife in your home.

Ellerton's broad experience and success with his techniques back up his advice. The situations are real, the advice is honest and at times, hard to swallow, but it works. Whether you want to improve communication in your family, or need a lifeline to prevent serious and sad outcomes with your children, this is the book for you.

This book takes time to read. You need to take your time, digest the content and share with your family. If you are intent on improving your relationships, it won't happen overnight, but it CAN happen!

This should be on the bookshelf in every home.

Book Review of "Rethinking Your Work: Getting to the Heart of What Matters" by Val Kinjerski, PhD

Book Review of "Rethinking Your Work: Getting to the Heart of What Matters" by Val Kinjerski, PhD



Review by Roger Ellerton

This book is a must read for managers who want to create a great place to work for their team and for anyone who is looking for more enjoyment and productivity from their work.

The book is clearly focused on the work environment and what you can do to create work of passion and enjoyment for yourself and your team. Occasionally, there are references to other environments such as family and I suggest that all of the ideas, concepts and tools presented are equally applicable in your family life, indeed wherever you are – you are only limited by your imagination.

As I was reading the book, I often wondered if a title such as “Creating Spirit at Work” might not have been more appropriate as this is the focus of the book. But then this may have driven some potential readers away – assuming the book is about religiosity, which it isn’t.

The book is divided in two parts:

Part I: Understanding Spirit at Work.

Here the author presents real-life examples to describe and provide us with insights as to what is spirit at work and illustrate that it can be achieved in different ways. Some of us may have had fleeting experiences of it, others extended experiences and then there are those people for whom it’s just a way of being. For all of us, it’s something we desire even if we cannot fully describe it.

According to the author, spirit at work is present in people who are passionate about and energized by their work and there are four distinct dimensions: mystical experience, engaging work, sense of community and spiritual connection.

Part II: Fostering Spirit at Work.

This is where the book comes alive for me. Here, the author leads us on a journey, providing tools, stories and exercises along the way, for us to discover and create our own spirit at work. As mentioned earlier, these tools are equally useful at home and in other environments.

The author notes that although spirit at work is influenced by the work environment, it’s really created deep within each of us.

Part II begins with a discussion on appreciating yourself – for some of us, recognizing our own talents and contributions is difficult – and respecting and recognizing the presence and contribution of others.

The next three chapters explain and provide exercises for discovering or enhancing spirit at work, specifically, they deal with: positive thinking, living in the moment, optimism, gratitude, forgiveness, courage, service, kindness, happiness and hopefulness.

The book is full of great ideas and exercises, however if you don’t actually do something, then the book is simply a nice read. Thus the author ends with a clear call to action.

As I said earlier, this book is a must read and it clearly stands on its own. However, as an NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) author and trainer, I was struck by how many of the ideas and concepts are similar to or fully in alignment with those from NLP. For those of you who have studied NLP, the material in this book will enrich your understanding and application of NLP concepts. And an understanding of NLP has the potential of making the material in this book even more useful and effective.

Parents Handbook: NLP and Common Sense Guide for Family Well-Being

My latest book, Parents Handbook, was published by Trafford Publishing in February 2010. It is available from Amazon.com, other on-line retailers and bookstores. Thank you to all who provided input on the cover design and content of the book.